Almost everyday I go through my finances through Quicken Online and although I’m grateful that it’s keeping me on the straight and narrow, it’s also kind of freaking me out. I havent “lived on the edge” like this in a very long time.
Now that my Emergency Fund is at an all time low and I must watch every dollar that goes in as well as every penny that goes out, in order not to overdraft. It’s very scary and I dont like it at all! (This is where I throw a tantrum)
But, it’s also making me stronger and more determined to build up that emergency fund again so that I can sleep easier at night.
Of course, I could always turn to my credit cards but I’m also very determined and stubborn not to do that. I want to do this without that crutch and I know that I can.
The hardest part is keeping my spirits up so Christopher wont worry. He doesnt need to grow up that fast.
In August they are having our 20 Year High School Reunion. A few months ago I started thinking seriously about locating some of my old school friends and before I knew it I was on FaceBook and I’m surrounded by them! Kind of overwhelming!
Anyway, I was hoping to go to the Reunion this year and I even started a diet to lose these pesky 40 lbs, but with my current $ situation and now that I’ve almost completely drained my emergency fun(although it’s not exactly an emergency), it’s not even a possibility.
To make this trip happen, I would need a minimum of $750 for the airfare(my parents wont let me fly alone and driving would be torture), hotel, food and of course a new outfit. Also, I would need my hair and toenails done. Much too extravagant right now!
But, I cannot say that I’m not a little disappointed that I didnt plan ahead and save up for this, but this has been a very interesting year financially for me as it is.
Thank goodness for Facebook though because that in itself is a mini-reunion.
There’s no doubt that I like to plan ahead. It gives me comfort to know that I’ve tried to forecast the details. It doesnt mean that I have everything perfect and that I dont leave things to chance but it does help to know that I dont have to worry.
I have thought through the money situation for our upcoming trip and it looks like I’ll only have to take $400. Here is the breakdown:
We will be gone for three days and two nights.
Room: 1/2 of the room expenses- (we are staying on an Air Force Base since my dad is a retired officer- so the Visiting Officers Quarters)- $60. He can rent three rooms for a total of $60/night which is pretty cool!
Gas for Jeep-$100(three full tanks)
Food- $200 ($60/day for Christopher and I plus any snacks, etc…- $20/meal- we can share ‘cuz he doesnt eat that much and I’m on a diet)
Misc- $40(for whatever might come up)
Grand total: $400.
So, I’m going to transfer the money this week and have it all in cash except for gas $ which I’ll use debit and keep track. I’m not going to take any credit cards at all!
Once we get back, I’m would like to concentrate on getting my emergency fund back up to $500 and I’m sure that it wont take too long.
I feel a little bit like a miser for not trying to figure out a way to pay for my family but they actually will be taking alot more money than me and I can reduce the burden by taking care of my own transportation/food and part of the lodging. Also, I just dont have the money to pay for everyone.
Things are starting to look up a bit financially for me. The UK SS increased by $80 this month and that will offset the increase in my electricity bill due to the air conditioner. Win/Win.
Just when I feel a little discouraged, I’m thrown a nice curve and I feel stronger again. All will work out in the end.
On another note, I have started to make a long list of all my needs vs. my wants and I hope to post that in the next few days. The point of the list is to keep some perspective in my life and help me realize just how much I do have already.
It is possible that in the next week or so, we may be taking a trip to attend the funeral of my last grandparent. He isnt doing well and they are only giving him morphine for the pain. He doesnt have much longer to live.
So, we’ll take out the suitcases, make the trek to Utah and pay our last respects.
It’s an uncertain time because we dont know when it could finally happen so most of my financial plans are put on hold for now. I know it sounds morbid to be thinking about money right now but oh well…
I’m grateful to have my emergency fund but it’s hard to watch it disappear so quickly, but I suppose that is what it is there for. This is the second time this has happened with my emergency fund.
Sometimes I feel like the only reason I have that fund is to pay for the cost of travelling to funerals but I know that’s not completely true! 
Oh well!
Update 06/13/09- he passed away this morning, so our trip is on for next week. I am grateful that I have 3 days funeral leave and I’ll only need to worry about Christopher and I financially.
So far June is looking really good in the sense that none of my immediate family has asked me to “help out” with anything except good old fashioned advice.
Yesterday my mom asked me to setup a tracking system on a plain piece of paper for their household bills. That way she can at least keep track of what they have paid and so forth. Before they combined households, I provided this for her and it seemed to work out really well.
They are looking at their household expenses differently now that they know they must rely on their own income. Basically, they get some sort of income once per week and they must pay any bill that came in the week before regardless of the due date. Their original error was to put the bill aside and use the Gone With The Wind phrase- “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” That obviously wasnt working! Anything left over is for “living.”
Before you know it, they’ll have all this extra money and all their bills mysteriously paid (note the sarcasm)!
My son who is four years old, does not know about our financial situation and neither do I want him to. He’ll only be a child once and I dont want to freak him out, he doesnt need that.
But, it can be difficult to say no to things when I know that he would enjoy them. I have to balance our needs with our wants. It’s my job as a parent to provide for him physically, spiritually and emotionally and I take that job very seriously.
I have toyed with re-starting his allowance but I cringe when he wants to use his hard earned/delayed gratification/saving up his spending money dollars on a toy that will be tossed into his toybox with 24 hours. It feels strange to me these days.
But, I know that he’ll never learn about money if he doesnt have any, so I have decided to wait until he can at least count (pre-k or kindergarten?) his money before I work on these lessons. It’s not about learning the value of the dollar, because I’m still learning myself but he should at least be able to reason out why saving up for something is important in that it makes you make better decisions.
When you choose “coinies” over “dollars,” you’re obviously not ready. 
